a.f., provo, china.

all i want to do is be in three places at once.
growing up is hard; i wish there was a way to keep your entire heart with you all the time.

i'll miss you.



do you think it means something that i've never seen a smile quite like yours?
how in the world do you get so much sunshine to come out of your face, even in pictures?
can everybody see it as well as i do?

i hope so. i hope they can where you are now.


lessons learned

how sweet it is to have friends like these.

this summer has taught me a lot.
a lot about how to enjoy my own company,
to use time wisely
(and how not to),
how to keep loving new people and not ever closing my heart,
how to work hard and endure,
how to find joy in places you thought you'd hate (food 2 go anyone?)
but most importantly,
a lot about how beautiful & sacred the temple is.
i appreciate it now more than i ever have in my life,
and it has brought me so much peace and comfort.
it has truly become my most important sanctuary.

i would never have guessed where this summer would have taken me,
but i've grown a lot and have enjoyed it so much.

next up, weihai in 11 days!!



19 years old is a funny age, i think.
you're really not quite anything.
not a teenager, not grown up.
a college student, but not really certain what you're doing.
if you're like me,
you're juggling several different groups of friends--
home friends,
freshman friends,
new provo ones, too.
moving every four months
and sifting through opportunities that only come in this college window.
which to take?
where to be?
who to be with?
i can't say that i really belong anywhere,
but i can say that i think i love that.
to belong in one place...
that can be so confining.
i think i'll keep living as a nomad.
so much of my heart is with american fork and the girls i stayed with at the cabin,
but so much of it is in heritage halls
and so much of it is on university avenue.
some of it got taken to new york city, some to florida, and some to winnipeg.
some stayed in paris and seattle and even a little part is in the morris center.
a lot is about to be taken across the world to weihai,
and you'd think that'd mean that my heart would be spread pretty thin by now,
in my close-to-nineteen years.
but everywhere i try to put it just makes it grow,
and i feel like my heart is pretty huge,
just bursting with love for every place i've ever been.
i'm in-between,
but i think i like it here.