there are honestly no words inside me. i try to blog sometimes. the result is about 6 feminist drafts.
i am trying to figure out what this means for me. am i settling?
i've been thinking about my future from a different perspective and it has changed everything.
what kind of woman do i want to be?
not what kind of person; i know almost exactly what kind of person i want to be.
but what kind of woman? a stay-at-home mother? a working one? an academic? a wife? a teacher? a leader? i am trying to create my own definition of what womanhood will mean for me (something i think every girl has to do at some point) and the answer will change all of my decisions, but the answer is not an easy one to come by.
but it has been helpful that despite what they say this is not an either/or. for me, it isn't. i don't have to grow up and become a wife and NOT a leader; i don't have to grow up and become a mother and NOT engaged in a career; i don't have to pursue a career wholeheartedly and NOT pursue a family. we all know that love should be the number one priority but i don't have to write NURTURE on every line on my list. i can write whatever the heck i want to on my list, no matter how small those priorities may become once my perspective gets a little bit bigger. as much as i'd like to, and as much as i feel i'm supposed to, i will never be comfortable choosing one with the exclusion of the other.
coming to a conclusion about my own personal womanhood is miles away but it has been quite a process to even begin considering it. i guess the one thing i've figured out so far is that whatever i choose on the spectrum of womanhood will be my own personal choice, not a result of somebody else's and definitely not a settlement.
look, it turned into another feminist post. that was unintentional.
3rd wave feminism (where we are right now, my friends, contrary to popular belief) is about reclaiming female agency and using choice to make yourself into exactly what kind of woman you want to be, while respecting the choices that other women choose to make no matter how different they may be from yours. am i the only one that thinks about this so deeply? is there anyone that can shed light on their own personal definition of womanhood? i would certainly like to hear it.