let freedom ring

i went on a road trip last weekend. charleston and savannah have me hooked. i never expected to be so smitten with the south, but i am. 

it was perfect. too perfect to articulate, but full of heavy food, car singing, sunshine, and the slowly but surely expanding limits of my comfort zone. redneck bars in statesboro can do that to ya. 

i feel so happy and grateful to be here. grateful to be growing and learning in a place that unselfishly offers me beauty and adventure without me even asking for it. i feel such pride for my country here. freedom is ringing inside of me.

there are freedoms that are given to us but there are also freedoms that we have to take. sometimes you simply cannot wait for permission. there is no one there who can give it. the lesson of my young adulthood has been the importance of utilizing my agency to choose growth. there are always growing pains but there is a certain beauty and serenity in dismantling my own walls, brick by brick, rather than waiting for them to be torn down. i'm still getting better. and i hope i always will.

new

i woke up to 2014 in a studio apartment on the upper west side of new york city. i had spent my last night of 2013 standing in times square which was honestly quite miserable and a poetic end to the most dreary year i've lived yet.
not to be pessimistic.
the last five years have been full of tremendous ups and downs but this one left me in a state of anxious monotony. i like change. i'm good at it. i can get so restless with routine.
2013 did not give me adventure but it did give me foundation. it gave me an endurance for solitude. it brought many many goodbyes but also brought me a few but very important new friendships. it gave me direction and forced me to make choices. it gave me a new love for my family. it pulled me together, on the outside at least, even though i'm positive my heartstrings will always be a little bit tangled.
what i need now, this year, is feeling. i need to love until my heart bursts. i need to dance. i need to argue and stand up for my beliefs. i need to have the sweet luxury of kneeling on the floor to weep.
most of all i need to be on better terms with god. my biggest goal and greatest resolution is to be closer to him.

a few others:
-learn my family history. i feel the spirit and influence of my ancestors with me daily and i want to get to know them better.
-curate an exhibition of student artwork.
-explore the idea of stories and oral histories--what kind of project can i do with this?
-journal consistently about both my musings and revelations but also my daily events, a balance i rarely reach.
-put people first. no matter what.
-become a better photographer.
-focus more on wellness. work towards all natural beauty products, simple food, etc. i'm a bit of a granola at heart. also, learn tai-chi.
-unplug more often.
-become an amateur floral designer.
-know the galleries of DC's art museums like the back of my hand.
-talk to strangers.
-share my faith.
-practice my sense of wonder and attention to detail. catalog it.
-say many, many hellos.